I think our souls are made up of infinite lights burning and igniting together. The light creates our passion, it deepens our love. It’s what makes us feel. Feel alive. Feel happiness. Feel anticipation and excitement. Compassion, sympathy, kindness.
Each one is different. Each one with its own identity representing a piece of our heart. The pieces of life that bring us joy. Our most cherished memories. The people we breathe, live and would die for. They all have their own unique and special light.
But what happens when one of them burns out?
The day my son died his light in my heart did too. It was as if the second the words were spoken, “we did everything we could”, I could physically feel it. It was as if someone took a deep breath about to blow out birthday candles. Blowing as hard as they could. And that was it. Gone.
What’s left when a light goes out?
Darkness. An unexplainable void so deep you are unable to see the bottom. You try to fill the hole over and over and over. But it’s like having a book of matches in your hand and each time you strike one to relight, so slowly...so carefully... so close... out of nowhere the wind picks up. The match blows out.
After you’ve exhausted yourself from the many attempts you come to the realization; this light will never be able to be relit. You now have to figure out how to survive and navigate without your brightest light.
New lights come. They glow and burn. They bring you much happiness and joy. You smile and laugh again. You appreciate what you have left. You see the beauty and blessings surrounding you.
But in the middle of all the beautiful glowing lights you are filled with, there will always be one at the center of your heart and your soul that is forever burnt out.