To those who say, "Move on already".

It’s hard for me to imagine there was once a time where it was taboo to speak of the child you lost.

They were expected to plaster the big pearly white fake smile and play the role that makes society comfortable. Nobody asked how they were doing. The subject avoided at all costs.

I get it. It was a different time...

No, I’m totally lying. WTH?? 🤦‍♀️ I don’t get it at all. I cannot imagine not speaking my child’s name that is no longer on earth. How do you pretend you’re ok? How is it possible to hide the depth of pain you now live with for the rest of your life?

Recently I overheard, “How is she ever supposed to get over her grief if she talks about her son everyday?”.

Umm, let me enlighten thee all knowing wise ones who share this opinion - YOU NEVER STOP GRIEVING THE LOSS OF YOUR CHILD.

Let me tell you a secret. I will grieve forever.

I will also live a very full and rich life. I will experience countless moments of happiness. I will be thankful for all the blessings I have been given. I will change the world because I understand grief is forever and so is love.

I do not have to pretend the death of my child never happened in order to live a truly happy life.

I’d be willing to bet by acknowledging our son is still very much a huge piece of our family, keeping photos of him up with the rest of our children, blowing a kiss to the sky and all the other ways I acknowledge him, is far healthier than trying to erase him (or brush our grief under the rug).

I am in awe of each loss mom I have met along this journey. They talk about their angels. They share stories and photos. They smile with pride when anyone says their name or shares a memory. Why? Because this is their child. Let me say that a little louder for those in the back - IT’S STILL THEIR CHILD!

These women also let themselves feel the hurt and the pain when it creeps in. Sometimes they cry a thousand tears. They don’t hide their feelings of heartache. Instead they share it with the world in a vulnerable, beautiful and incredibly courageous way.

They share so others traveling this road feel they are not alone.

They share so others know their own grief is normal and it’s ok to feel it all.

They share because they get the nudge someone, somewhere, needs to hear their struggle for a glimpse of hope.

They share because it’s hard and we need each other.

To all who think grieving should be on a time clock; to those who think “just move on already” or for the ones that believe we need to speak of them less often - let me say this to you...

I belong to a group of women shattering the glass wall that was built to keep us silent. The wall designed to keep us crying behind closed doors. The wall separating us from others so they do not have to feel uneasy when reminded life isn’t perfect.

These women are creating a new norm for parents who live without their child. Women not afraid to be raw or real. Women who use their voice and their hearts for the child they no longer have on earth.

I am damn proud to be one of them.

#grievingourway #shatteringtheglass #childloss #spacesbetweenyou